Yesterday we had our 1^st non-hospital visit with Nate’s endocrinologist at Children’s Dallas. I was not prepared!! We took all 3 children because we are all participating in a diabetes study but I will get to that later.

With all 3 kids in tow in the pouring rain we set out to what I mistakenly thought would be an easy visit with Nate’s doctor. Now I know different – next time I will be more prepared! We arrived early which just caused a lot of waiting around with 3 very restless kids. Jim decided to stay in the waiting area with the girls so I was on my own with the little man and all of the screaming, crying, finger pricking and information overload! Good times! I am very appreciative of the fact that along with a team of doctors, nurses and educators we also get a counselor. She was very nice and listened as I told her how I was doing, how sad I still am and how angry I am becoming. I even laughed when she told me that I was “right on track emotionally” and that she did not have “any magic answers”. Really – what the hell are we paying you for? Ok, just kidding – I didn’t say that but I have never really talked with a counselor before and I was really hoping she would have a magic answer! Talking with her just brought out all of my emotions while I was sitting in this little room with my crazy, 16-month old little man who was at this point starving because it was well past his lunch time.

By the time the doctor came in I was stuffing peanut butter crackers in Nate’s mouth so quickly that I lost count and then freaked out because I had no idea how many carbs he had eaten! Good thing we were at the hospital – right?

It was just a very long, very emotional, very frustrating visit.

I was fried!

On a happy note – Today I found a mommy with a little girl that was diagnosed around the same age as Nate. I am so excited to find someone that is going through exactly what we are going through and can understand all of my crazy emotions.

More later on the hell of day that was yesterday!!

My precious Emma was a raving lunatic during our meeting with the TrailNet Diabetes Study nurses.