Houston . . . We have a Problem!: Diabetes - I think you are here to stay!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Diabetes - I think you are here to stay!

11:00 AM

You know when your kids get sick and you hate it for them but you also hate it for you too? When I have to give Emma breathing treatments it's like I know this is helping her but OMG-I have so much to do right now I just don't have time for this. I always just think about the fact that we only have to do it for a few days and then she will be better and we can put away all the meds, the nebulizer, all of the tubing and the mask. Done - out of sight and out of mind.

I keep waiting for this to all go away. I'm tired. Oh so tired of pricking Nate's tiny little fingers 10 times a day. YES, 10 times a day. Right now we are doing 3 shots a day but sometimes 4. It makes me sick to my stomach when I have to give them to him. I know I would HATE it if it were me getting the shots. It's beating me down. I am just waiting for it to go away. It's exhausting to think that this is forever! It's not going away. Not. Ever. Going. Away.

Ok, so I've really been doing pretty well with all of this but today it just hit me. I am exhausted. I want my old life back. I want diabetes to hit the road! Adios! Don't let the door hit ya . . . ok, you get the picture. I'm so freaking tired of counting carbs I could scream & its only been a little over 2 months. No one understands what it requires and no one knows how exhausted I am. NO ONE GETS IT!

Ok, I think I just fell asleep sitting here so I am going to take my sad, tired self to bed and get some rest. Only 3 hours until Nate's next bg check.

4 comments:

phonelady said...

Oh boy do I remember these day for me and my son . My son was so oooooo tired of being poked and prodded and shot up the first few yrs after the dx. It happens and it will get easier believe me when I say that we got through it and you will too and maybe when Nate is my sons age at 25 the big d will be a thing of the past . One can only hope . Many hugs to you and prayers headed your way .

November 30, 2009 at 6:16 AM

Tracy said...

Oh, I have been there, MANY times!I feel like I just can't do another BG check. I can't do another site change. I can't count one more carb. Even after almost 1 1/2 years, I still feel this way sometimes. I don't think it will ever go away.

I try to look at it as positively as I can. I have my little boy here. He is happy and healthy because of all the things I do! We also check him at least 10 times per day. I am always tired. But, he is worth it all.

All of us D mom's get it. And we might be the only ones who truly get it! Other family members/friends might try to get it, but they never really get it. What they see us doing occasionally looks easy to them.

Here is what my dad posted on CWD about us parents:
"part of the reason they don't get it (aside from the obvious) is that you, like most parents on this board do such a fantastic job. You make it look easy. I know it's not, and you know it's not. But they don't. They don't understand how much effort you put into keeping the numbers in range (or close). They don't get how much effort is involved in lowering A1C. They don't understand why you don't sleep all night. And they won't as long as they're not involved in day to day care.

Just keep doing what you do, and know that no matter what, you are doing what is right for your child. Know that like most parenting tasks, this one will go pretty much unappreciated. Except that your child will know - and as they grow up, they will realize how much you cared."

Ok, this was longer than intended, but you should know that there are people who "get" it, even if we are only friends in the cyber world right now.

November 30, 2009 at 4:27 PM

Jill said...

I agree....us D-Moms DO get it! Its been a year and a half for us and I STILL have those days! Things get easier as time goes on but we ALL have those times where we just feel defeated and we wanna throw our hands in the air. And you know what? IT'S OKAY to have those days! It took me a long time to accept that. I would beat myself up for wanting my old life back. I'd feel guilty and couldn't believe I was thinking the way that I was. I was tired...I still get tired....but we pick ourselves up and push forward! ((((HUGS))) You're doing an amazing job and I couldn't even begin to imagine how hard it is to take care of a little teeny one with diabetes. Kacey will be 10 and she was 8 when she was diagnosed and that's been tough enough! Keep your chin up and vent as much as you need to :) thats what we're here for!

Oh...and btw...if you jump then we're all gonna be there to catch you ;) Smile!

November 30, 2009 at 6:20 PM