Houston . . . We have a Problem!: A Guest Post from GaGa

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A Guest Post from GaGa

4:45 AM

As September 17th quickly approaches I am able to look back at the last year and see how far that I have come. The days and months after Nate's diagnosis are a blur of confusion, denial and a lot of grief. I might as well say it - I was in a serious depression. Now a year later I am often overwhelmed with emotion but no longer depressed over Nate's diagnosis. What I have not been able to do yet is sit down and write about my year. So, this week I have several guest posts scheduled.

Today's post is from my mom, Cheryl (aka GaGa):

Hmmm . . .where to begin . . .when Laura asked me to jot down something for her blog, my mind raced . . .our family has come so far in one short year, yet I sometimes feel we are on one of those little hamster wheels, running running, yet going nowhere but wanting to smash the thing causing the annoyance.

As a Grandmother and as one who usually does not curse . . .I have found myself cursing the disease and have on occasion had a pity party or two. Poppa and I have always loved having our little ones come over to spend the night .. .from almost birth, they have come. The month prior to Nate’s diagnosis, Poppa was in NYC and the Houston’s minus Nate headed to San Antonio for a week long vacation. It was just GaGa and Nate, hanging out . . .what a great week we had! Little did I know that it would be the last time for a very long time that he would be staying overnight with us.

The days of baking cookies quickly just because the grand-babies were headed over have pretty much stopped. Don’t get me wrong, Nate is not deprived of sweets, but we just don’t make the big deal about baking anymore. Selfishly sometimes I feel deprived . . .as a child I remember the wonderful smell of sweets baking when I would go to my Grandma’s house . . .and there was always a cake on the cabinet or cookies in the cookie jar . . .I wanted the same for my babies . . .I love to bake but just don’t do it so much anymore.

Just yesterday, there was a stab in my heart when Laura brought the children over for breakfast. She bolused Nate for some of GaGa’s special pancakes, which he and the girls quickly devoured. But then, Nate looked up and asked for just one more. . .which of course really meant another few more and we had to divert his attention Seems we do that a lot too since the diagnosis. They are little things and probably not so important to some, but to a Grandmother, it’s all a part of the spoiling process!!

As a Mom and from my heart, it has been a very hard year seeing what diabetes does on a daily basis not only to Nate but to my daughter. Laura is a very strong woman . . .she always has been. I knew from the beginning that she would fight the disease head on, learning all she could about the disease, the treatment and care, and that she would never give up doing all she could do in hopes of a cure. Still, I have seen the tears, the frustration, the hurt and pain, the fear, the loneliness and as one Mom to another, you know how it rips your heart out to see your child hurt . . .especially when there is nothing you can do to make it better. It’s a Mom’s job “to make it better” and regardless of age or circumstance, it does not change..

But there have been positive things too since the dx . . .in many ways I think our family is closer. Poppa and have learned to appreciate every day more and we have seen an outpouring of love from our immediate local family, friends and strangers. Folks who don’t even know the Houston Family pray every day for Nate’s safety and for a cure. They pray for strength for his Mommy and Daddy. They also pray for Emma and Sophie, the two little girls who try to understand the disease that their baby brother has. This disease has shown us the good in people . . .the generosity in the giving of time, physical and monetary needs and the recent support of the Team Super Nate for the upcoming JDRF Walk for the Cure has been to say the very least, overwhelming.

September 17, 2009 was a starting point for our family. Today, a year later, we look back and see how far we have come as a family dealing with diabetes. I believe we are a kinder more loving family. We are for sure a more compassionate family especially for those touched by this cruel disease.

In closing, the last thing every night I pray: 1) For guardian angel protection over the Houston house (I envision an angel with her wings spread over the house and claim God’s promise of that protection) 2) For wisdom and strength for Nate’s caregivers 3) For the many scientists who are working on a cure and 4) For a cure in Poppa’s and my lifetime so that we can see a healthy Nate.

I don’t think that is too much to ask . . .do you?

16 comments:

Unknown said...

Great post GaGa! And no, that is not too much to ask. Your family will continue to handle the daily struggles of life with "d" with grace and tenacity...it shows clearly through your post and Laura's regular written words.

The first year is tough. Laura, I admire that you are up and blogging so early on. I wish that I had found this outlet earlier in our "story". I was pretty messed-up for a good year and a half after Joe was diagnosed. I think if I had found all of you lovely ladies earlier on, I would not have had such a rough start with our life with "d". Joe's Diaversary is this Saturday...LOVE YOU.

September 14, 2010 at 4:59 AM

Heather said...

I think that is wonderful that you are so involved GaGa! My mother hasn't been and it makes it harder to deal with D sometimes. Laura is truly blessed to have you supporting her and loving her!

September 14, 2010 at 6:09 AM

Cindy said...

Wonderful post, GaGa! Nate is so lucky to have you! I can't wait to read more of the guest posts, Laura! You have a truly wonderful family!

September 14, 2010 at 8:04 AM

Heidi / D-Tales said...

GaGa, you sound like a wonderful grandmother!!! The entire Houston Family is lucky to have you!

September 14, 2010 at 9:57 AM

Sarah said...

That is so beautiful. It made me cry. Thank you. Our family lives far away so what you describe I just wish for!

September 14, 2010 at 10:06 AM

Meri said...

Funny, those are the exact things I pray for at night too. :) Thank you for your words...I'm so glad Laura has you by her side. The help you give her is amazing, but the understanding you give her is priceless. ((HUGS)) and much love to you Gaga!

September 14, 2010 at 10:53 AM

Alexis Nicole said...

Beautiful post! Laura how blessed you are to have such an involved and amazing mom!

September 14, 2010 at 11:27 AM

Lora said...

I am like a blubbering mess!!! You have a very blessed family and one of the best moms EVER!

Gaga as Nate gets older you will be able to bake again. My mother-in-law is the same way. ALWAYS baking cakes, brownies and cookies with the kids.
She stopped at first, but has started again now that Justin is not all that concerned with only having "some".

Great post!

September 14, 2010 at 3:09 PM

Sarah said...

Here flow the tears again. I am overjoyed to know that there are people in this young childs life that are taking the time to truly understand t1d. I am thankful knowing that eventually baking will resume and his memories of GaGa's will be of sweet smells and an extra bolus for more pancakes. I know the sorrow and the difficulty as we're there. I also have seen my mom cry over how difficult it is to see this happen to your grandchild and the effects on your child. We're all lucky to have family like you. Keep praying for I too believe in that cure.

September 14, 2010 at 4:43 PM

Unknown said...

BEAUTIFUL GAGA!!!!!

Now that I'm crying over here....I wish we could all come to GAGA's house for some pancakes.

Your post made me want to be a child again.

September 14, 2010 at 5:40 PM

Denise said...

Beautiful, absolutely beautiful!

September 14, 2010 at 5:58 PM

Hallie Addington said...

No, not too much to ask. Not too much at all!
Great post, GaGa!

Thank you for being a wonderful Mom and Grandmother to Laura and her family. I know from experience how wonderful it is to have parents who love and support you and your family on this hard road. You ARE an angel, you know!

And I LOVE your name! My mom is Mimi and my DAD is Gaga at our house!

Love and hugs!

September 14, 2010 at 6:09 PM

connie said...

Beautiful post, GaGa. Thank you for sharing your words with us...your love, support and special pancakes will give Nate all the love that he needs in life from his GaGa and he will treasure all of the memories that you make for him, even if they are filled with a few less cookies then you imagined :)

September 14, 2010 at 10:38 PM

Cdejulius said...

thanks to each of you . . .your sweet responses made me cry . . .and give me hope . . . Laura is very lucky to have each of you in her life as a DMom . . .

September 15, 2010 at 7:05 AM