Complications

My dear dear SW,

I just wanted to let you know that I sooo understand the hurt and pain a A1C can do. You are doing a wonderful job for Nate and NEVER EVER EVER doubt that!!

Love ya lady!!

I know nothing anyone says can change how you feel....just remember Nate IS such a young little boy, and for all the chaos raising a little one with Diabetes that A1c is AMAZING!!! ((HUGS)) I just wish you felt the same!!

We just had our highest A1c's EVER in 5 years....both Maddison and I, so I know how you feel. I cried too. Ours is because of pure "laziness" or "burnout" on my part...but if you are doing your best and everything right most days then that is really all that matters. Dont listen to that number! It isnt even close to the 9's and it isnt too low.......you are amazing!!!!

Check texts for my thoughts. You did NOT fail.

Love you so much.

Laura,
You are doing everything that you possibly can to take care of your son. You keep reminding yourself of that.

Nate is such a cutie!

Sometimes it takes a good cry to get ourselves back up and continue on the journey.

HUGS!!!!!!!!

I promise with everything in my entire soul...I promise on everything I hold holy...you are not...nor will you ever be failing Nate.

Children are protected from the damage of highs. I was told that by the head Pediatric Endo at UCSF/Stanford Medical Center. And you know what...I believe him. I think fighting constant lows is much more dangereous. I also thinking you are doing a wonderful job. You are an amazing mother. Nate is blessed to have you as a mother, and I am blessed to have you as a friend! Love you!

There is no way in hell you are failing Nate. I know it doesn't make it any easier, because we all definitely do feel like it is a "report card." But you and I and all the other d=moms are dealing with growing children. There is no way on God's green earth that we can be a perfect pancreas for them as they grow. This stuff happens, and I agree with Meri - preventing those lows is much more important than running a bit high as a child. HUGS, hugs and more hugs.

You can never nor will you ever fail Nate. It's just not possible. You are taking this so hard because you love him. That right there is the win. That's what counts. That's what lasts.

Like I tell Lexi, I can't tell you what it's like to be a parent of a PWD or parent at all. But I can tell you what it's like to be a PWD. The hardest thing to accept is that no matter how much we try, no matter how much blood, sweat, & tears we put into it, diabetes is a roller coaster. I don't care if you have control so strict that your carbs don't even vary by a single digit from day to day. Your numbers are still going to go up & down. Why? Mostly because the Beetus is a b word I won't say. But also because everything, and I mean EVERYTHING about the human body is an ever-changing variable.

YOU are NOT failing Nate. Diabetes is failing him. His pancreas is failing him. You are keeping him alive & healthy until he can do it all by himself. You are loving him with a force so strong that this one single A1C is devastating to you.

I've had diabetes for 20 years. I've had A1C's a lot higher than that and I'm still here. Relatively, complication free. None of this is an exact science. You do the best you can with the tools that you have.

And I say Nate is damn lucky to have you. So are we. :)

((((((Laura))))))

I so get you, Laura. I always feel like I am failing Aiden too and I know we always comment on other people's A1C's "don't worry!! It's just a number" but I feel exactly the same way when I hear our number and even if it's "good" I know it was just because there were a few too many 50's or a 30 to jack up my satisfaction. But God Bless Meri to remind us about children being protected from the highs. Nate is an awesome little boy because of you and they will all will have a strong awesome lives because you are a rockstar of a mom who completely puts them first. So many of us come to you when we need to "keep calm and carry on". I am so thankful for you. So you are a rockstar and that is all. Many HUGS!! Love ya!!

I have been wondering and am so glad to hear the NPs response and guidance to you. I absolutely LOVE it. You respect him - you know he knows his stuff and would be truthful with you. I know this is not what you expected or wanted or is even reflective of your efforts, but you trust this man and he's telling you it's okay. I believe him, Laura. My wish is that you do too.

Hello sweet Laura. You are most certainly not failing Nate. Diabetes is a wicked taskmaster and we are just humans, trying to replicate an organ in the body. You are a wonderful, caring mother to your little boy and your girls. You are doing the same same as all of us, your best. Hold your head high my friend, it will all be well.

Laura, I'm sending you big hugs and saying a few prayers for you and Nate tonight. Not because you're failing Nate though, because you most definitely are not failing him! I know it probably won't make much difference for you to know this, but those complications aren't something you have to worry about until after puberty. Until then, you just have to help Nate grow and learn and be a happy, active little boy. And you're doing freaking amazing with that! Hang in there, Laura. You really are doing an amazing job!

I hear you! That silly little (or not so little!) number can make it seem like we are the worst pancreases in the world.
But we know that we do what we can and sometimes it just doesn't work out like we want. Sure, it sucks...really, really sucks to know that sometimes our kids have to go through crap because we aren't perfect, but to beat ourselves up over it doesn't do a damn bit of good. (Totally talking to myself here, too!!!)
Sending you love and hugs!!

Laura-I didn't think there were any other moms harder on themselves than I am…not happy to be wrong about that! Honestly, I was going to call you to find out how you got his A1c's so low in the first place. I remember you telling me a while ago that you had gotten it under 7.5 and I didn't even know about the 6.6! We've only gotten down to a 7.8 so far and I feel like I've done everything humanly possible to get there! So, there are ups and downs. And yes the endo visit makes you feel like crap if the number isn't what you hoped. But, if you've gotten under 7 before, you can do it again. Just be sure to fill me in on how you did it.

My daughter Maddalena is 3 years old now, and D took her at 14 months, as Nate.
You know, I feel you.
Sometimes we have to forgive ourself.
We would like to be mighty and perfect and have super powers for our childs, but we are humans and we not have enough means to "solve" diabetes as we would like.
Rest a little, and stand up again then.
A father

You didn't fail Nate, not at all!
Life isn't perfect, neither is life with diabetes. Growth spurts happen, life gets crazy and through it all, you pick yourself up by your boot straps and try again!
Also, if he had a 5ish a1c, he'd be blowing serious lows.
That's not good either. 8.3 isn't terrible, but it is DAMN frustrating!
Please remember all you've done right by Nate and his sisters - And please remember that YOU ROCK!